SAFE PLACE instead of TIME OUTS

"Safe Place" Instead of Time-outs⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  Everyone in my house has a safe place. When Doodle goes to his bed, that is HIS space. When we are upstairs and Doodle goes under the couch... that is his safe place. We all know this is where Doodle goes to feel safe. And we STAY away. He needs this time and space.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  Charlie has a safe place too. If he is starting to have a major meltdown or chooses to continue an unsafe choice... he goes to his safe place. It's NOT a time out. It is NOT a punishment. It's a choice. And it's a choice he knows he's making when he has fits. He can be mad, he can cry and carry on. But he does it in his safe space.... and when he does calm down he can resume his activity or make a new choice. Instead of choosing to have a power struggle or over-explain all his choices... we go to the safe place (sometimes I leave him there to regulate on his own, sometimes I stay with him and hold him). He knows in this space he will calm down. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Someone the other day wrote on one of my posts.. There are no "safe places" when you're an adult. No one is going to give you hot cocoa and puppies. Sadly this is a big fat lie. Look at these rules for the safe place... and then apply them for you. EVERYONE should have a safe place. Mine is my bed or the bath... or a date or a girls night. It's important to know how to say you need a break... and know when you need one. 

 It's so different, yet so similar to "timeouts" I want to put some more resources out there for you. 

Have you tried it out yet?

In my house we don't always say, let's go to your safe place. It's "do you need a break" "your body is telling me we need a little break" "let's take a break" and breaks are very safe and welcomed with Charlie. 

"Safe Place" Instead of Time-outs⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Everyone in my house has a safe place. When Doodle goes to his bed, that is HIS space. When we are upstairs and Doodle goes under the couch... that is his safe place. We all know this is where Doodle goes to feel safe. And we STAY away. He needs this time and space.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Charlie has a safe place too. If he is starting to have a major meltdown or chooses to continue an unsafe choice... he goes to his safe place. It's NOT a time out. It is NOT a punishment. It's a choice. And it's a choice he knows he's making when he has fits. He can be mad, he can cry and carry on. But he does it in his safe space.... and when he does calm down he can resume his activity or make a new choice. Instead of choosing to have a power struggle or over-explain all his choices... we go to the safe place (sometimes I leave him there to regulate on his own, sometimes I stay with him and hold him). He knows in this space he will calm down. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

"Safe Place" Instead of Time-outs⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  Everyone in my house has a safe place. When Doodle goes to his bed, that is HIS space. When we are upstairs and Doodle goes under the couch... that is his safe place. We all know this is where Doodle goes to feel safe. And we STAY away. He needs this time and space.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  Charlie has a safe place too. If he is starting to have a major meltdown or chooses to continue an unsafe choice... he goes to his safe place. It's NOT a time out. It is NOT a punishment. It's a choice. And it's a choice he knows he's making when he has fits. He can be mad, he can cry and carry on. But he does it in his safe space.... and when he does calm down he can resume his activity or make a new choice. Instead of choosing to have a power struggle or over-explain all his choices... we go to the safe place (sometimes I leave him there to regulate on his own, sometimes I stay with him and hold him). He knows in this space he will calm down. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
"Safe Place" Instead of Time-outs⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  Everyone in my house has a safe place. When Doodle goes to his bed, that is HIS space. When we are upstairs and Doodle goes under the couch... that is his safe place. We all know this is where Doodle goes to feel safe. And we STAY away. He needs this time and space.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  Charlie has a safe place too. If he is starting to have a major meltdown or chooses to continue an unsafe choice... he goes to his safe place. It's NOT a time out. It is NOT a punishment. It's a choice. And it's a choice he knows he's making when he has fits. He can be mad, he can cry and carry on. But he does it in his safe space.... and when he does calm down he can resume his activity or make a new choice. Instead of choosing to have a power struggle or over-explain all his choices... we go to the safe place (sometimes I leave him there to regulate on his own, sometimes I stay with him and hold him). He knows in this space he will calm down. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
"Safe Place" Instead of Time-outs⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  Everyone in my house has a safe place. When Doodle goes to his bed, that is HIS space. When we are upstairs and Doodle goes under the couch... that is his safe place. We all know this is where Doodle goes to feel safe. And we STAY away. He needs this time and space.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  Charlie has a safe place too. If he is starting to have a major meltdown or chooses to continue an unsafe choice... he goes to his safe place. It's NOT a time out. It is NOT a punishment. It's a choice. And it's a choice he knows he's making when he has fits. He can be mad, he can cry and carry on. But he does it in his safe space.... and when he does calm down he can resume his activity or make a new choice. Instead of choosing to have a power struggle or over-explain all his choices... we go to the safe place (sometimes I leave him there to regulate on his own, sometimes I stay with him and hold him). He knows in this space he will calm down. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Lauren Pace, MS | Parenting Coach | Child Behavior Coach | Utah | WA